Old Woman Requests Neighbor Have Windows Washed So She Can Watch Him Exercise

Viola Winters, a resident of windy Chicago, has recently asked her local police department to take measures to clean up her neighborhood; however, her only request was for her neighbor across the street, a 35 year old male body builder, to have his dirt-encrusted windows washed. One officer suspects her motives are not entirely unselfish. “Those windows have been dirty for years, the whole house is a mess on the outside. It’s a bit suspicious that she has only taken up the cause of cleaning up the neighborhood now that there’s a new, attractive resident.” In an interview last week Viola didn’t deny having ulterior motives, simply stating “I’m getting older by the second, and I find enjoyment anywhere I can. I want our neighborhood to look good, and if I happen to get a better view when I sit at my front window in the mornings, so be it. I hadn’t really noticed how incredibly attractive the man is, especially when he lifts weights in those tight shorts of his. Nope, hadn’t noticed at all.” Viola claimed that her recent experience with a professional window cleaning company inspired her. “There aren’t any streaks insight. It lets in more light and makes it easier for the kids to wave to me as they walk by on their way to school. They can see through the windows much better now!”